martin shaw
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Registered: 11-2011
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Earth worms
d
Last edited by martin shaw, 2/3/2012, 4:11 pm
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12/19/2011, 5:04 pm
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Frank Baron
Old Crow
Registered: 11-2011
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Re: Earth worms
I like this.
Playing God, or wishing you could. But the first line and last indicate helplessness - an ungod-like trait indeed.
We humans are frail creatures in so many ways. But we are also capable of great feats.
Call me foolish but I have great faith in humankind.*
*You have just witnessed why I rarely comment on posted work. Mostly it's because I suck at it. But also I tend to go off on tangents...oh look! Something shiny!!
--- You can observe a lot just by watching - Yogi Berra
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12/19/2011, 7:26 pm
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cbets57
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Registered: 03-2006
Location: La Crosse WI
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Re: Earth worms
So deep - I really liked the smokey intensity of this.
The misguided core is interesting. Author who believes s/he has more power than s/he really does. I would really like to see you expand on this and bat it out of the park, so to speak. But, then again, there is at least one who doesn't think I know what I'm talking about when it comes to poetry. So, I leave this up to you.
C
Last edited by cbets57, 12/19/2011, 9:26 pm
--- Cindy
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12/19/2011, 9:25 pm
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martin shaw
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Registered: 11-2011
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Re: Earth worms
I was born and raised, then erased; my head stuck above a pulpit, un-capped, ‘monkial matter laid bare, shrivelling from the twinkling eye of a spoon.
They, dig, dig-dig-dig-dig, dig dig, dig-dig the whole day through.
I am exoskeleton, Me!- the locust, empty, from you.
Last edited by martin shaw, 12/20/2011, 1:30 pm
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12/20/2011, 1:29 pm
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martin shaw
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Re: Earth worms
Frank, you make me laugh. You are so much better than me.
CB
I can teach you, me, tis all. Is that big headed?
You have talent, but need leading to your alley.
Felicity, Felicity is saving her work. She is very competitive. Watch out the world.
Frank is really T.H. White, reborn and a great talent.
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12/20/2011, 1:48 pm
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cbets57
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Re: Earth worms
Oh, I wasn't referring to you, Martin. Someone else from the "other" site.
--- Cindy
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12/20/2011, 2:24 pm
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martin shaw
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Re: Earth worms
I can help you be you
and I wont chat you up
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12/20/2011, 2:33 pm
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martin shaw
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Re: Earth worms
I think you'd make a pretty darn good critique, Frank. It's all honesty
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12/21/2011, 4:41 am
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Felicity Jane
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Registered: 12-2011
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Re: Earth worms
quote: martin shaw wrote:
Frank, you make me laugh. You are so much better than me.
CB
I can teach you, me, tis all. Is that big headed?
You have talent, but need leading to your alley.
Felicity, Felicity is saving her work. She is very competitive. Watch out the world.
Frank is really T.H. White, reborn and a great talent.
Thanks Martin, that's kind! Now if I could just get competitive (something I am so not!) maybe the world should watch out.... LOL sweet....
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12/25/2011, 8:04 pm
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martin shaw
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Re: Earth worms
Well, I think so.
Anyway, we'll see
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12/30/2011, 4:42 pm
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